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The current year represents a ten-year milestone since the word “disappearing” entered the mainstream. At the time, the idea that someone could suddenly stop all contact with a lover without a word seemed like the pinnacle of indignity. Our innocence was charming. In the ten-year span since, finding a significant other has only become more perplexing – an oftentimes fruitless endeavor in awkwardness that is increasingly shaped by online jargon.

Gen Z, a demographic who matured during a social isolation crisis, a male identity crisis, and a widespread challenge on the rights of females and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic environment than their millennial forerunners could ever imagine. And so their dating vocabulary has grown longer and more unhinged, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” pushing the boundaries of your sanity.

The following list is a comprehensive breakdown to the terms Zoomers is using to navigate love, sex and the pursuit of both. To paraphrase one of the year’s most popular online sayings, by the end of this list you’ll yearn to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Realness – In the view of gen Z, dating’s gold standard is showing up as your real, raw self. Good luck with that!

B

Avian theory – A TikTok trend loosely based on a test developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something minor – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and observe whether your partner’s reaction is interested or dismissive. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Independent partner – Gen Z’s rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” trope of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while oozing enigma and self-sufficiency. (She could possibly have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Support test – This signifies choosing someone who aids you proactively. If you entered a room, they would pull up a chair for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A date where two people bond while doing chores, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped young adults do low-cost dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Emotional spiral – Melting down when you feel burdened by life. You can crash out over a crush or split, venting all of your (unrequited) feelings.

D

DINK – Dual income no kids. Once a symbol of 80s yuppie excess, it refers to partners who choose against having children to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

E

Vulnerable signaling – The antithesis of playing it cool: utilizing communication, honesty and openness.

The Letter F

Indicators

• Red flags – Personal traits signaling a prospective partner is not right. For instance calling their former partners unstable, subpar gratuity habits, a love of controversial director films, a new DJ career …
• Good indicators – These traits affirm your choice to pursue a mate. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, low phone use, owning a proper bed …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe niche, largely harmless idiosyncrasies. Examples include being an keen birdwatcher, still keeping a pen in their bag, paying rent in physical money …

Freak matching – When you find someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the second world war or DVD collecting or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who hates the same things or individuals that you do (nothing fosters intimacy faster than having a nemesis).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A musical group your gen Z boyfriend likes.

Zombie-ing – Someone who reappears into your life after a period of disappearing.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is affable, eager to please and loyal. The uncommon boyfriend who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's counterpart.

Gooners – A mostly online community of men so obsessed with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, deliberately delaying orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A mindset describing many women's increasing cynicism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

High-value woman – An archetype touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and contentedly domestic, who apparently has no goals of her own aside from satisfying her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Turn-offs – Arbitrary and frequently trivial repulsions that immediately shut down any sense of attraction.

“He would if he cared" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else receive an incredibly sweet display.

The Letter J

Professions – These have not been this crucial in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ultimate partner: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd prefer partners in sectors they perceive as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: nurses, educators or therapists.

K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16m years. But the days of locking lips may be numbered since some Zoomers prefer fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic intimacy realistic.

Light catfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {